What is Your (Male or Female) Role in all of this?

Posted: August 5, 2009 in Pushing my buttons!
Tags: ,

I was having a rather blah, bleary morning – you know the one where you’re just rambling round the hallways, performing your work tasks without much thought as to what is going on in and with your life – when I stopped to say hello to a colleague at work. After the usual pleasantries somehow (I *may* have mentioned I read a blog about women’s lib and he *may* have mentioned Michael Baisden’s recent show), we had delved headfirst into what turned out to be an open and frank discussion about the roles of men and women in a relationship. Yes, a man who is brave and honest enough to tell me what he thinks!! Oh sorry, I playfully digress…I can’t wait to have round two of this discussion!

Anyway, from our conversation, the following questions came up and we wondered what others would say. So, what do you think of the following?

• What does “Head of the Household” mean?
Do you think it means that the man has the final say and/or a more valuable opinion when it comes to making family decisions? If you say yes, is this due to your faith, core belief system, etc.?

• Do you think a woman must submit (mentally, sexually, etc.) to a man in order to let a man be a man and/or to have a successful relationship? If so, what does “submit” mean to you?

• While a lack of open communication and taking the time to get to know our mate are two key reasons for the failure of a relationship, what do you think stops us from having open conversations before getting into a serious relationship (or sleeping together because let’s face it, once sex is involved, things change)?

• Why do we – both men and women – change (ourselves as well as our expectations) once sex is involved? Don’t lie to me or yourselves people…you know stuff changes

• Do you feel that by getting into a relationship, you are in essence giving up your independence? If so, please explain.


  1. Kevin Ramcharan says:

    1. According to the Bible, (yes I am a Christian), the man is the head of the household (and I really only consider “household” as a family- mom, pop (mom, mom or pop, pop) and kids). I have always considered this to be the spiritual head of the household, not necessarily that the man’s opinion in policy matters are more important. What spiritual head means to me is that it is for the man to take the lead in the spiritual direction of the household.

    2. No, (although I have heard some female friends say that for the benefit of the male ego, women have to pretend to rely on the man or submit to him… BS in my book) I love an independent self-sufficient woman… at some point I’ll need her, and she’ll need me.

    3. Easy, most men (and now a disturbing number of women) are too anxious to get into sex in a relationship before getting a chance to engage in real dialogue

    4. Sex changes us… sorry, that’s the best I can come up with

    5. You give up some part of your independence… you must if the relationship is to survive, but the individuality of the people involved in the relationship, otherwise they become resentful of the relationship, and is the main factor, in my humble opinion, of the suffocation that most people feel in relationships. So a night out with the “boys” or “girls” every once in a while is not only acceptable, but essential.

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