Be sure the person you love, loves you just as much or more. Not saying you have to love someone a little and expect them to love you more or better, but that you should not settle for anything less than true, full love and all that you deserve. This includes the love you extend to yourself.
Like so many people I’ve been in many different situations. I loved. I screwed up. I settled. I loved someone more than they deserved. I’m also guilty of loving someone less than they deserved. I also loved more than one person at a time. Overall, I’m lucky to have loved and I’m even luckier to have had people who loved me, and luckiest, to have people love me now.
I don’t take love for granted because when you do, that’s when something happens to shake you and remind you that you do love the person. Sometimes you get slapped in the face with the reminder that you were taking things for granted.
If I start recounting all of the bad situations regarding love it would give me enough material to fill many pages of this here internets but I choose to be conscious of the good and brush away the bad. I choose to be strong, to be happy, and to love myself. I choose to try and be courageous in the face of adversity or when those I love are hurting and I can’t make the pain go away.
Above all, I choose to try and forgive myself for all of the pain, anger, fear and sadness I have caused others. I’ll admit that some of my guilt about life’s choices and I have become besties. I’m not one to kiss and tell but my guilt and I have been known to snuggle together on the couch under a warm blanket, sipping wine and replaying bad choices.
I wish I could say, “I forgive you” to myself, the same way I say it to others, and really feel like I’ve forgiven myself. I’ll keep working on it. Although I say it. I don’t completely feel it. But, I am a work in progress.
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