Tell It Tuesday: Empathize or Be Quiet

Posted: February 17, 2015 in Tell it Tuesday
Tags: ,

Liz-lemon-eye-roll

Sometimes I don’t need to be reminded that others are having good luck when I’m weathering a bad luck storm. Don’t get me wrong, I will still be happy for you in spite of my woes but not if you rub it in my face.

Sometimes I don’t need to be told to “smile”, or “look happy”. If my day is bleak and bogged down with poopy sagginess, I may want to just be calm and still in my soul and not produce fake smiles to the world.

Again, yes, I can be absolutely and completely happy for you! My happiness is not dependent on another. But if you remind me of how much better your day, life, heart, or finances may be, I may just stop being happy for you.

Live life to the fullest. Go ahead, beat those deathly odds every day. I dare you to love, celebrate, enjoy and and live!

But I cannot appreciate boasting, bragging, being a one-upper, or you being an all round A-hole.

Example:

If I say:”It’s freezing outside! Temps are in the negative digits. My face hurts from the wind!”. 

And you say: “Hey it’s a sunny 82 degrees here!” (without any acknowledging my temporary plight)

Then: You’re being an A-hole. A braggard who cannot or for whatever reason, refuse to empathize. 

Disclaimers:

There is a difference between being an A-hole and sharing good news. I can’t stress this enough. How so?
Going on vacation to a warmer climate when you live in a cold climate is awesome and I’m happy for you! That’s called enjoying life and I hope you enjoy. Rubbing in the fact that you’re not experiencing someone else’s pain, after they’ve expressed said pain is….you guessed it, being an A-hole. See the difference?

Yes, I love the changing seasons and winter feels and choose to live where I do. And yes, I hate driving on ice as there are no tires with spikes on my vehicle so I keep my tail in the house on icy days. But I just want to be able to share and not be reminded of why someone else made changes, or is enjoying some place else. Great! Just don’t ignore other people’s comments. Better yet, please do ignore them. Then I won’t think you’re being an A-hole.

Another Example:

You say: “I’m blessed! God gave me a thing (insert particular tangible item here)”

I will say: Please, please, please stop. Read a holy book. Any holy book. Why? If I have to explain this one, you may already be doomed. Yes, I’m being literal.

Example:

If you say: I was in a car accident and I lived. “God is good!” or “God looked after me”, please, please, please be sure that others DID NOT die in that accident. Why? Because it sounds as if God found it necessary to protect only you and not the others who did not live. Think about how that sounds…

Of course I’m not an expert of anything other than my own thoughts and opinions which I share here, mostly freely. If anything I say offends, I won’t apologize. I will say that it is not my intent to offend, just to shed light on some aspects of life. Also, as mentioned in a previous post, people I love have called me on my BS (intentional and unintentional) and for that, I love and thank them. So consider me a stealthy BS caller if you see yourself in any of the comments above.

So let’s just learn to empathize with others, even if for only 60 little seconds out of a day before returning to our gloriously abundant lives!

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