Random Thoughts. If only…

Posted: March 30, 2015 in Pushing my buttons!, Tell it Tuesday
Tags: , , , , , , ,

If Steve Harvey can give dating and marriage advice and women advice on how to be a woman, I can give lessons from my relationship guru platform, pass out backhanded compliments and cloak all of this condescension in religion. Who knows, I may even be able to come up with a plan on how to objectify women even more…and then get them to believe everything I say AND quote me! After all, it seems that speaking with authority on subjects I know nothing about, or to be fair, from the 1920-1950 decades, will ensure success as an authority on…something!

If Kirk Franklin can give advice on being a clean and holy person, I can give advice on Christianism.

If people believe that Bin Laden represented all Muslims, then I am entitled to capsize these fake yogis and those claiming these mastery titles in Buddhism which totally go against the way of life.

If all these white boys full o’privilege who sing about niggers, and lynchings, and who call little black girls “slut” can find some head shaking African Americans to stand by their side as if accepting the Morgan (I only help white people in all my movies) Freeman supporting role award, and who can even get some notable Black American to pontificate on how “extending a hand in love” will heal all racial rifts, as the boys o’privilege apologize in a non-apologetic manner, I can give lessons depicting how tough the slave owners had it back in the day with keeping slaves downtrodden and accounted for. Look, it was hard to do all the accounting math and whatnot and even harder keeping it in the pants with them fine assed slaves around.

If a South African named Noah can take over for a Jewish spot-on comedian who understands race relations, gender biases, and discriminatory practices better than most minorities who are discriminated against, then I…oh wait. No, I can’t do better. Well, maybe Tina Fey or Dave Chappelle could have but no, at this time, unless he screws up, I can’t do better… 😉


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