Like Spanx, but(t) for Life

Posted: February 24, 2016 in Awake, Writing Wednesday
Tags: , , , , ,

chasing the dream

Some of you who know me well may think this post is gonna go another way because of the “but(t)”, but sorry, it’s not. Do you know what Spanx are?  They’re an invention from Sara Blakely who was getting ready for a party when she realized she didn’t have the right undergarment to provide a smooth look under white pants. Armed with scissors and sheer genius, she cut the feet off her control top pantyhose and the Spanx revolution began! With a focus on solving wardrobe woes, the Spanx brand has grown to offer bras, underwear, jeans, pants, active and more” (

Well I apparently need Spanx for life. You know, something to remind me that I need to push up, pull tight and bear down to accomplish the  life I want. I need to cut the pieces that aren’t working and start solving the woes! Hence, Spanx, but(t) for life!

Things that go bump in the night have nothing on the scares of real life day woes. Yes my nightmares are horrific but I wake up and  I’m usually tucked safely in a bed, under warm covers, secure in a house with maybe no more than 2 or 4 people with access to multiple bathrooms so I don’t have to coordinate everyone’s schedules and bathroom times or worse yet, get in line in the schedule after uncle Hector’s odoriferous bathroom time. So what do I have to worry or be scared about?

Not accomplishing my dreams! Not following my passion! Quitting when I didn’t get accepted!

Background that you may or may now already know: I’m an immigrant. Moved to the U.S. under circumstances that were less than favorable but not as terrible as other immigrants who paid for their trips in life and limb. I’ve lived with many people over the years in smaller and less than ideal conditions. Now life is relatively decent, fun and full of love, but every now and again, when I get complacent and want to be one of the people who sit idly by and stop reading, learning or striving, it takes just one visit with family members who are closer to our original family culture than I am these days, to kick my arse back into gear and remind me that I need to not be complacent, to not sit idly by, and to always keep learning, reading, striving…


Sympathy isn’t needed, neither are complaints. While I’m living a life that many relatives don’t understand, don’t want to or just don’t care enough to try, at least now I get to choose who I call family and don’t have to be nice or hide myself to appease negative folks. Most of all, I still live in a country where I can pursue my dreams. Sure, I can fail. And boy have I done that in spectacular fashion at times! I’ve also not been successful (yet!) in getting a major magazine or journal to publish my writing, but I’ve also had small wins in that several online journals and hard copy local magazines have published my work.  So I take my small wins and keep plugging away. I also have to remember not to dwell too much on the past but it does haunt me a bit when I visit family.

Sure, I know that no one owns, or holds my happiness hostage. Also, while happiness doesn’t lie in actual dollars, it sure doesn’t lie in being butt arse broke either. So don’t take this post as a proclamation to go out and drop the career and pursue only the dream. What this post is, is a proclamation to say, “screw acceptance!”, “fight for your right to be happy, to be heard, to be passionate and pursue your dreams!” (okay, that may just be me screaming to myself…). But seriously, while job satisfaction is good it isn’t detrimental to  well-being as long as the paychecks keep supporting the dreams. Sure, at times I’d like to have a big welcoming family to run to, and a magnificent sum of life savings to make me feel safe but at what cost?

sick of being nice

Keep striving, learning, loving and living. Take all of the bad experiences and turn them loose. I may not truly forgive all of the people who hurt me but I’ve figured out ways to move past the hurt so that I can feel good about myself again. I may not be able to shake the enveloping sadness when those I love are sad or stressed but I’m working on just being there and not letting it take over every pore of my being. Being there for those you love is totally within your control and being a healthy and happy person makes you a sturdier shoulder to cry on, a better loved one with whom you can vent and get it all out with or as needed, an excellent arse kicker for those who hurt the people you love.

So chase the dreams, eat the cake, dance in the rain, drink the whisky, hike with the dog, get that tattoo, pierce that skin, try polygamy (or not if your first spouse will literally kill you)!

Oh, and if you really feel like you need some more stomach and butt shaping, here are pics of men’s and women’s spanx…


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