Archive for the ‘Pushing my buttons!’ Category

How to avoid getting molly-whopped or Spencered (richard, lowercase kkk): 

  • Don’t try to convince POC you’re on their side. If you are, they’ll know.
  • Don’t remind or inform POC that you marched for them,  or are fighting for them. Do it for you, for equality, for freedom, etc.
  • Throwback advice: Don’t touch anyone’s hair. Oldie but truthie that’ll still get you knocked tf out, so consider this my PSA to you, dearhearts.
  • Don’t assume jokes and comments specifically about drumpf are okay, especially in mixed company, or at work. They may be triggers for some…
  • Don’t tell anyone to “move on”, “get over it”, or specifically, what they should do. It’s not only too soon, but is guaranteed to get you at least heavily side-eyed or knocked the fuck out and well, no one wants that.

Article: Richard Spencer getting punched in the face. Yeah, I’m sharing it. It was a highlight of mine on that dreary, rainy, Friday.

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Please vote. If you’re in the U.S. and are legally able to, please vote. You are not only voting for POTUS, you are voting for people to represent your interests on many levels, from police chiefs, commissioners, and sheriffs, to judges and members of Senate.
Get charged with a crime and have to stand before a judge? Depending on the severity of the allegatiin, you may be standing in front of an elected official who may hve been an incumbent you chose to retain in that spot. Same goes for a Sheriff. Elected official. What about those hateful cowards who chose a career that allows them to carry guns and shoot unarmed civilians? Their boss, the Police Chief, is usually appointed by a government entity such as a Mayor, etc. 

Who’d you select for Senate? If you thought Justice Scalia’s death ushered in the chance for some fresh, actually logical, and non-racist fresh blood to take his place, but your party doesn’t have a stronghold on the Senate, then guess what? You may get another Scalia or God forbid, a Clarence Thomas. Why? The next President will appoint someone and in case you don’t remember Obama nominating Merrick Garland for the job and how Republicans delayed and shot down all options for fair discussion on the subject, I’m here to remind you that you’re newly elected President and Senate will make the choice. 
Disappointed in the Mayor changing rules or policies from some as simple as the number of trash pickup days, or more egregious, supporting a police commissioner who allowed drones to film and record citizens without their knowledge or consent, or who as Mayor, had no clue how to stop citizens from “rioting” due to poor policing in a city? Vote for someone you believe will do a better job.

I’m  not telling you who to vote for, that’s your personal choice. Also, there are so many other reasons for  voting,  but right now I  don’t want you to continue reading. I want you to go  out and VOTE! 

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Silent Americans have an impact. If you’re not voting because your candidate is not on the ballot, you are still making a statement and this statement has an impact and consequences.

Of course I hope everyone who can vote, votes. I’m openly biased against the likely Republican party’s nominee and I’m okay in my soul with this. Hence my plea.

Abstaining from the process, no matter the reason, has an impact on the outcome. If you aren’t thrilled about the options, take a minute to think about how we got here. Once you have that answer, ask, “How can I work towards changing what I don’t like?”. This simple question is useful in so many areas of our lives so don’t limit yourself to using it only for politics. Let’s use voices, actions and ballots to make a difference and not become the laughing stock of the world with a mad man at the helm. Focus on making your life  better – whatever that picture of contentment looks like to you.

Oh, and if you still want to abstain, just a reminder from the ACLU about your voting rights and how at one time in the past, some had none. If you’re a woman voting for Trump, don’t forget how fragile your candidate’s ego is, and that you have your very own woman card…

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Image: google search dreamstime

I have nightmares of epic proportions at times. They’re so bad that the feelings of dread and being uncomfortable can last an entire day. What’s weirder to me is that sometimes I’ll have the same dream but with a different outcome, or have different thimgs happen in the same location, or even pick back up on the dream on a totally different night! I’m sure I’m not the only one because I’m not that freakishly special.

I’ve only ever told one person some of the crazy dreams because I think that person is strong enough to hear them and because to be honest, I don’t want others knowing how utterly fucked my mind is at times, apparently. And yes, I know these are not active thoughts so there’s little I can do to control them. However, since dreams supposedly mask life events or fears or goals, etc. or are abstract or very real indications of something else that may be occurring in life, I wish there was a magic decoder ring that would tell me what I need to know so I can keep life moving.

Sure, there are tons of resources online and books and people who claim they can interpret dreams. But I don’t really trust all of that. So here I am, about to go to sleep again on another night, following yoga and meditation.  If these two things don’t work, it’ll be another long day tomorrow. But you know what? The one thing I am getting better at, is disguising and pushing down the heartache, and the sense of dread as I try to give myself a mood boost and ignore the nightmares and these asinine creatures and humans in my head. Hell, maybe even my way of dealing with it, tje cover-up, is indicative of something as well. Who knows? Either way, I’m one edgy night creature. Just ask the truly fucked up characters in these head stories of mine. 

grateful for mansplain
Some, (read: many men) love blaming feminists for creating terms like “Mansplaining” because they believe it paints all men with a negative paintbrush. This is not true. There are many men who do not mansplain things and are very capable of having conversations that are funny and respectful and sane. Of course because they are sane, they’re not accused of mansplaining. So what is this “mansplaining” anyway? According to ye ole google machine, this is what it is:

Mansplain Definition

allow me to mansplain

 

How does one mansplain something?

no such thing as mansplain

It seems that many men believe that their masculine parts (read: penis) equip them with a brain so superior to a woman’s, that on many topics he would be an expert regardless of the woman’s expertise, background, qualifications, or hell, even opinions. I’ve heard some people describe it as men who claim to be good at everything even when they clearly have never done said thing they’re mansplaining. But that’s just arrogance and assholery. As humans we are not capable of being good at every single thing we attempt or think about.

 

Let’s not be assholes or mansplainers or trolls. But trolls is a topic for another day. Today, just go out there and be open, engaging and if, as a man you feel the urge to explain to a woman why she should not feel the way she does, why she should see things from your perspective because you have one little clue about whichever topic you’re discussing…don’t. Embrace what everyone brings to the conversation, to our experiences, and to life in general. Don’t be that guy!

tina geys

Some have been spewing sharing “fears” about a recent article in the New York Times about a transplanted uterus being placed into a man’s body. Ignorance is not pretty, nor is it even cute. Reminder, if the uterus is not yours, or if you are not related to said uterus, don’t be that guy (or gal). Medical procedures have been making inroads for decades and this is just another one. Oh, and spare me your tired rhetoric and don’t blame the Bible for your “fears”. Blame your ignorance. Why do you feel the need to tell others what should be done to, and with their bodies? Who made you a God?  Who appointed you to judge others? It’s simple, if you are a man and do not want to undergo medical procedures to carry and birth a baby, don’t sign up for it. You really don’t have to do anything. At all. Easy, isn’t it? It’s called minding your own business. 

All this talk about men becoming pregnant does make me wonder how this type of change could affect our society. For example, if a man can physically carry and birth a baby, will it become more acceptable and encouraged to have men become better parents where they have deeper and stronger bonds with their children, are openly nurturing, caring, and affectionate with their children, sons included, and have more respect for girls and women? Granted, there are thousands of men who possess and exhibit the wonderful,  caring qualities I’ve just described, but sadly, there are just as many or more who do not. Some even take a neanderthal-like stance and believe that it’s solely a woman’s job to be caring or nurturing, while it’s a man’s job to be hard and tough and seemingly uncaring. For the record, it isn’t. These are harmful generalities and antiquated beliefs that do nothing to enrich the minds, hearts, and souls of our young people.

On a much-related side note, if you “fear” a man will obtain a uterus and have a baby which prevents you from supporting this type of procedure without considering the women this could help, you are indeed that guy. Women who want or need a uterus deserve to receive one if it’s a viable option without someone, especially a man, railing against it.

As society moves forward with innovation, I hope antiquated beliefs fade to dark and truly hope those with prejudice and hate in their hearts are not voices of influence over children or young adults.

Lastly, here’s are two links to educate:
Link to the NY Times article discussing the procedure. 
Link to the NY Times article discussing the lengthy steps and procedures to allow men to receive a transplanted uterus and carry a baby to full term.

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I recently had a conversation with friends, yes, people I really consider friends, about going out dancing. I decided I want to go dancing because we hadn’t been partying as a group lately and my birthday is coming up. Besides, I like partying with these people for the most part.

However, trying to find a club where we’ll have a lot of music that’s great to dance to and without unwanted humans humping us is tough.

For example, I love dancehall reggae and soca but here in the east coast, going to a reggae/soca club means I’ll inevitably have guys trying to touch body parts they shouldn’t be touching. Yes, I know not every dude who goes to these clubs is Captain Creepy McHandsy, but I’ve been doing this for years and my experience is that guys wanna touch when I don’t want them to touch. When I ask them not to, some get offended and I’m not spoiling for a fight.

So, here I am, trying to figure out where to go so that my het (heterosexual) friends will have fun and where I won’t “accidentally” step on feet or punch someone in the ribs when hands wander.

It was at this point in my quest for happy feet exuberance, that I realized that my het world doesn’t mesh with my queer world. Surprise, surprise…and I was allowing it to happen!

Thinking back on it, I’m always breaking my two worlds apart because that’s just how life is, or rather, was, for me. Now, however, I’d like to have my very own “Modern Family” moment where everyone, and to be honest, it’s not that big a bunch in my het and queer worlds, to dance the night away, together, without wandering hands, questioning eyes, or paranoid panicky faces.

I realize I may have to pick a place where mostly straight people party if I want my straight friends to be comfortable. Why? Because a few already said they won’t feel comfortable being in a queer club and a couple of dudes fake jokingly said I’d have to dance with them all night long if that’s where we’re going. Never mind that my queer male friends are all in better physical shape and are very respectful of people’s space. Fear of the “others” is still very real.

Oh well, maybe the worlds will never truly mix. Or maybe I’m going about this blending all wrong. Either way, I hope to be partying somewhere, at some point, with people I love, on that special day.

Or maybe, I’ll just say eff it all and go enjoy a good ole dungeoning up as I spank some tight little butt while telling him or her how naughty he or she has been. After all, queer folks are sexual, uncontrollable fiends, aren’t we?

Oh wait, this bondage fetish now belongs to straight folks. Thanks, 50 Shades of Grey! Le sigh…

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