Posts Tagged ‘friendship’

(A series…)

How to tie a scarf in several different ways.

How to be still.

How to love people you didn’t birth.

How to cook soft shelled (or is is “shell”?) crabs becuase I wanted them.

How to never give up on dreams.

How to go with the flow when all you want to do is drown the sorrow.

How to be brave.

How to not get lost in your own reflection.

…We all need this type of love.


There are several aspects of my life that make me crazily, ridiculously sad and at times, soooo damn angry. However, I know that anger and sadness are just some of the emotions that make up this wonderful life. Am I being an ostrich and sticking my head in the sand when bombs are going off around me? No. I choose to see the options in situations and hope with all that is in me, that love, kindness, understanding, basic compassion and empathy will win over evil.

Does that always happen? Of course not! Just look at those who have died at the hands of monsters, or those who are forever scarred by abuse in many forms. But, since I can’t rid the world of abusers, haters and all nefarious assholes, I have to focus on things that I can do to survive them and to encourage others that they too can outwit, outplay and outlive* bad situations. Most of all, I have to do all that’s within my power to be the kind of person I want others to be.

So what’s the problem? Well, sometimes I’m not sure that I’m as supportive in the right way, as I should be. Sometimes I think that I don’t do it well. For example, I get angry at the offender when someone I care about is taken advantage of or hurt, when I should probably just listen to the person and be there for them. Sometimes I get crazy sad and lose the ability to find comforting words when a friend or loved one is pouring their fears and heart out. If this occurs in-person, I can always give hugs and wipe away tears but when it’s over a phone or worse yet, text (!), I feel so helpless and sometimes, not helpful or comforting at all.

I’m guessing I’m not the only person to feel this way and as I’ve always known, I’m a work in progress. I also realize that whatever people go through, it’s their journey and not about me. However, when I’m on the same journey or a part of the travel team, I feel it deeply too and that’s okay. I just need to realize that I’m support, not the primary person at that time and as such, relegate myself to be the best freekin supporter this world has ever seen (cheerleader skirt, pom poms and all!). To do that, I’m going to start working on a few things. They include but are not limited to:

  • Just being there for those who need it. No matter what it takes and no matter how I feel about it. I will be there. Period.
  • Try to keep in touch with those I’ve temporarily lost touch with for whatever reason. Usually it’s because I get busy with life, work, writing, etc. but that’s not an excuse or healthy. I will try.
  • Lose the few dangling on, fake friends. If I reach out repeatedly and I’m repeatedly shut down with careless remarks or not loved the way a true friend should love me, I need to just stop reaching. Buh bye!
  • Appreciate what others have to offer and continue to learn from every encounter and every life experience. I find that inspiration and encouragement comes when sometimes least expected, and every situation in life can teach us something if we choose to see it. Corny? Maybe. True? I think so.

Is there anything else I should consider? Yes, this is how a writer processes and thinks…on paper.