Posts Tagged ‘humanity’

To the people who think that there really are gay agendas being pushed for the recruitment of, or encouragement of gayness in children by way of products, television shows, music, toys, etc., please grow up and smell your heteronormative privilege.

Of course I mean that figuratively. I realize when addressing sensitive topics such as say, good ole equality 😐 you must speak to everyone in the same way; as if they’re the dumbest person in the room. Why? Because heteronormativity is such a rampant and acceptable belief that many of us, self included at times, don’t understand or even realize the ignorance in everyday speak…until we do. Then, it’s oh so awkward when we do and others don’t. What is this heteronormative speak? Here are a couple of sentences for consideration.

– A woman asked, “Why is there a children’s cartoon in which a character asks, “Why isn’t it ever Romeo and Romeo?” She claimed it was not acceptable for children because they’re too young to learn about sexuality.

– I don’t want my child reading about two mums or two dads. They have plenty of time to learn about that stuff when they’re older.

These are annoying hogwash questions.

No one explains sexuality to children when there is a male and female parent. Or rather, no one except maybe pedophiles. Children do not learn about sexual anythings by seeing well adjusted human beings in families who do the same things hetero families do.

When children grow up believing and seeing no difference between a male/male and female/female relationship, then they are less likely to think it’s unusual or different or wrong when they get older.

The notions that roles and paths in life are determined by gender is incorrect and limiting. We know this because of the many years of living in male dominated societies. The idea that a gender assigned at birth will automatically dictate how you learn, the toys you play with, or your “natural abilities” is narrow and truly insane.

Why would you not want to embrace all people, no matter their gender, chosen paths and options in life, etc., i.e. why not show a little boy that it truly is okay to have two Romeos?

In short, heteronormativoty is assuming that just because you were born with a penis, you are a boy who will like girls, who will want to play with toy guns and  toy cars, will wear certain types of clothes, and who will behave in a particular manner. Why can’t we teach acceptance from an early age? It’s not as if the cartoon illustrated explicitly sexual acts (it wasn’t South Park or on Adult Swim).

However, one part of the problem is that for many narrow minded people, when they learn of, or meet a gay couple, many of them automatically start wondering about the couple’s bedroom habits. Do you do that with hetero couples immediately? If so, does that limit or change your expectations or treatment of said couple? If so, then let me be clear – YOU are the one with a problem.

Honestly, wouldn’t you want to teach love of all humans to your children, even the boys who will love girls, the girls who will love boys, the boys who will love boys, etc.? Oh and if it’s your religion that you’re worried about eroding or disobeying, then I suggest you teach your children your religious beliefs. ALL aspects of your beliefs. Don’t dare pick and choose which aspects of the Bible, or any of the other holy books you’ll teach, and don’t forget to let them know about all of the other religions in the world, not just yours. While you’re at it, you may want to remind that most great leaders and religious teachers were not die-hard religion followers who were loving towards humankind.

Therefore, when healthy gay relationships are observed as just another type of family, and when queer relationships in all forms are considered normative behavior, which it is, acceptance will be taught at an early age, making the world a better and more loving one. Isn’t that a world you want to live in and leave to your children?

Quick and easy to read references for additional information:

Gender and Education Association:




This one’s going to be short and sweet. No reason to delay the icy blast to match the East Coast polar feels.

The Short:  Some of y’all on social media are killing! Tweeting, facebooking, putting out tumblr memes and gifs that start off as being sorry to hear about Whitney Houston’s daughter, Bobbi Christina, but some of y’all the same ones consistently dogging her parents’ lives, drug addictions, behavior, and in general, laughing at the family, all while claiming to shed sorrowful tears for her condition. Get your shit together, people. Damn. Fake ass non-caring motherflubbers!

The Sweet:  Who, among all of us, did not make mistakes in the younger years? Hell, some of us are still making mistakes in our older years. Are we that empty as a people that we have to tear others down to make ourselves feel better? I’m no saint, I admit that. Also, I’m not a die-hard fan of any of the afore mentioned people, other than for a few songs by Whitney, and my entertainment from New Edition back in the day. The media buzz about Bobbi Christina is just another example of how much we love to see celebrities fail. Of how we like to ignore our own dirty laundry and sniff other people’s dirty drawers.

You know who I want to see fail? People who admit to committing heinous crimes – the stone cold murderers, rapists, and those bastards who earn millions while stealing from the poor, downtrodden and disenfranchised communities. Look, I’m also not saying you should care about Bobbi Christina. I just want us to remember that we’re all human – some better and some worse only through actions, beliefs and practices. We all have issues. Sure, I was an arrogant and insensitive little shit at times in my life. And you know what? I grew the fuck up. So I’m here to pass a puff, to lift a foot for a swift kick, and to share a big old steaming cup of Shut the Fuck Up to all who need it. Why? Because someone once cared enough to do the same for me.

Share light and love.

Deflate-gate, deflated balls, millions sunk into the Super bowl, and a whole lot of “sportsing talk” with empty catch phrases, circular references and statements that would make even Captain Obvious cringe.

Does repetitive cheating accusations require that those accused of cheating be investigated in the NFL? No. Do reports of violence get truly investigated when those accused are valuable professional athletes? No. Why? Because it seems that blind patriotism, capitalism, and the facade that we are a great nation united as one under a pigskin is more important than free speech, fairness and justice. It also seems that making money on the Superbowl event is more important than ensuring fair play between teams. Great message to send to your children, isn’t it? Yes, I just went there with the line of questions.

I’ll admit that I was a fan of American football and yes, I’ll admit I still watch it from time to time. I’ll even admit to loving the other football aka soccer and yes, that pro sport also has many issues. But now, I’m addressing the NFL in light of the New England Patriots’ win, even after the dispute about possible shenanigans. I’m also addressing the topic because of the extreme patriotism I’ve noticed being promoted in not only the spirit of football, but in the commercials during the super bowl, etc. This isn’t a conspiracy theory. It is an observation.

But seriously, why? Most agree thay the NFL is a deeply flawed money making giant. They’re not supporting the needy, the government, or taking care of homeless veterans. Hell, they’ve been called out on their unwillingness to take care of their own football veterans who have been, and who are still fighting multiple diseases due to being crunched and tackled one umpteen million times for the sake of the game with little care or compensation now that their careers are officially over!

Also, let’s not forget the numerous accounts of deplorable and despicable acts, for which several who play pro sports have admitted guilt but then given free passes and absolvement for over the years.

Sure, I enjoy playing sports and think it is important to have sports and physical activities in schools, but at this point in my life, I refuse to support pro athletes and hope more people will feel the same. And before you ask, no, I don’t think sports lovers are dumb or wasting time. We all have hobbies and if watching sports is your thing, then do your thing.

However, the blind worship of athletes, and the millions paid to them to play poorly, or selfishly (think of those who who play a team sport with the focus being only on two letters in the word “team”, which are “M and E”, Kobe!), is proof of our fading humanity.  For those who admit guilt and involvement in horrific acts, I am not only devastated and disappointed. I am saddened by how fickle, forgetful and forgiving we as a nation, are. It seems we’ve created this playing field in which it’s okay to joke about cheating, to joke about victim shaming, and to joke about violence when the jokes revolve around well compensated professional athletes. God forbid, though, if someone brings up a serious topic such as murder by those sworn to protect and serve, discrimination in any form on many levels and decades, etc. They may be accused of being too sensitive, overly dramatic, or be told to “get over it”, to “move on already”, and to be appreciative of the rights they do happen to have.

Well maybe one day I will move on. But definitely not today. And most likely, not tomorrow either.

I can’t be all things to everyone
Not even to self.
Despair entrenched in bone, in skin,
Fear and self deprecation become kin.
You are the beginning of my ending.

Copyrighted 2015
All Rights Reserved


I realize I may be in agreement with some and in the minority line of opinions for others regarding my comments and opinions on the State of the Union (#SOTU) in the U.S. If you feel I am, one way or another, oh well, that’s life. If you agree, great, looking forward to a wonderful conversation. If not, great, looking forward to a wonderful conversation. If you despise my opinions, that’s okay too because it means I’m most likely not talking about, or to you.

So on with it! The following are important to me but they’re not listed in order of priority. Why not? Because I want you to find the one that’s most important to you and find a way to support it. None apply to you? Hmmm, then maybe we really aren’t friends. Either way, we should have a conversation.

1. I don’t know many people who went to community college for free so yes, I’m happy about that option for many going forward, as announced by President Obama as an option for states to adopt. If you are scowling and grunting about how, “so many people get free community college classes already”, or “what us already in debt” this is a part of life. Be glad you’re living among the educated, got it free or had the opportunity to quality to get a loan, and move on. Ain’t nobody got time for your gripes. Yes, I have student loans out the wazoo and this benefot wouldn’t benefit me directly. However, two years of free college education is a good start and very helpful for many. Did someone whisper “how about four years free”? One can dream! Or move to Germany.

2. In spite of the horrible acts of brutality and murder of citizens by those sworn to protect and serve, and in spite of the horrible racism that permeates many communities, I believe that one day we will become better humans through understanding, acceptance, and love. “I still believe that we are one people. I still believe that together, we can accomplish great things, even when the odds are long”. #SOTU

3. “The best measure of opportunity is access to a good job.”. Anyone who has been unemployed with a family to care for, and bills to pay will understand the importance of this – a good job, or hell, A job! Don’t tell me that you don’t care whether or not you have a good job unless you’re born into generational wealth or in an asylum.

4. A woman should be paid the same amount as a man for doing the same job. #SOTU. Men, isn’t it better to have a stable financial future with your female partner who can help support a family, if you both agree she will work? Isn’t it great to have your female partners bringing home a sweet check? Golf memberships, school fees, tuition, luxury car payments and all of that manscaping isn’t cheap. If not, and you prefer a woman who earns less than you do even if she does the same job as you or worse yet, does more work than you do, I’d like yo know why. Also, has anyone called you a Neanderthal? Just curious. Equal pay for equal work is a must. Can you tell that this issue is near and dear to my heart?

This was only a snippet of topics discussed during the President’s State of the Union. While there are many other aspects I enjoyed, I’m content to wet your whistle just enough for you to be intrigued.

For those criticizing the 2015 State of the Union speech (#SOTU), know that this queer, immigrant brown girl will hold on to the American dream that some of you have given up on. I need to. It’s not perfect but nothing is. “A brighter future is ours to write.” #SOTU

Link: President Obama’s State of the Union transcript

Giving thanks and food was the #1 topic in the U.S this past week. It coincides nicely with this post in my Wonderful Humans series. This wonderful human is someone I’m thankful to have in my life as a friend and fellow lover of good food and drink, Mara L. I measure friends in many ways, some of which include being fun, caring, thoughtful and generous and of these traits, she is all, and then some. She made the list not only because she’s a friend, but because she is a person with one of the biggest hearts that I’ve met in awhile, but not in a bad medical way or anything, and because she loves to feed strays like me!

This woman’s home kitchen skills is like going to a fancy, organic (soup?) kitchen for working folks with discernible palettes. I joke about the soup kitchen aspect because she feeds us for free and expects nothing in return. The meals she prepares are always nutritious and tasty with farm to table ingredients that are prepared in a variety of yummy ways. Let’s see, there’s been numerous ethnic styles of dishes and to top it off, or rather, whet our appetites for the middle eastern styled meal at a recent dinner, she hired a belly dancer to perform. Let’s just pause here for a second and take a poll. How many people have been to someone’s  home where they were treated to a surprise belly dancer performance? I didn’t think so…oh, and just ‘cause I know y’all, no, strippers don’t count.

While the free food and filling of my belly should be enough to fill this post, this is just one of the reasons I consider her a wonderful human. When so many were worried about the economy and the troubles that would befall them, she still opened her home up on numerous Saturday evenings to friends and their friends and significant others for dinner, without asking for anything in return. She wanted to continue perfecting her already amazing cooking skills and to find a way to connect with friends outside of social media.

Oh, and while we’re on the topic of living out loud and having fun, let’s just say that if fire-hooping and fun dance parties sound appealing, you and she have similar spirits. For those wondering, because I really do know some of my blog readers, she is a real person and not just an imaginary friend or firehooping fantasy in my head. Pfft.

What else…? Ah yes, how could I forget?! Kidding! I can’t forget to share that her husband is just as kind, cool and a friend as well. If not, how else would we still be eating free of charge at her house? 🙂 Goes to show that good people do attract other good people.

Oh, and just to show that not only do we eat and drink, which, let’s face it, is about 80% of what we do, they supported me at not just one of my mild and mellow, burn some sage and other incense at a poetry reading. No, these two were almost in the middle of the melee when a poetry partner and I hosted a poetry show at the Gladys Knight Chicken and Waffles restaurant, where obnoxious bar patrons heckled the poets all through the night. Granted, the show was sponsored by the alcohol, Patron. Needless to say, I never want to host a supposed mellow poetry show sponsored by alcohol again…I will just continue to take it in boxes to their house for the dinner parties!

Yes, some may say that this is just a post about a friend and yes, while it is, it’s a post that will hopefully remind us to enjoy some of the (dare I say, more?) important things in life such as having enough, and at times, too much, food in this country, and to hopefully, pay the kindness forward, and above all, cherish the wonderful humans in your life. Don’t wait for the holidays to show appreciation for what you have, do it every day.