Posts Tagged ‘life’

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When you’re the happiest semi sad person around, it can get weird. Mostly in your head. But if it’s weird there, then I’m sure it’ll get weird in other areas too. What is this “semi sad happy”?

It’s when you’re happy, have a lot going for you, but still feel sad about something or someone. I guess that happens to most people and it’s normal? For example, if you’re having a good time with friends but missing someone, or if you’re seemingly contentedly doing something you usually enjoy, like maybe reading a book, enjoying rays of sunshine, sitting by a body of water, playing with a fur baby or an actual baby but wish someone else were there with you, this is semi sad but happy. Also, I say, “semi”, because you’re not full blown sad amd down and out, just not completely happy or fully at peace.

Either way, it feels odd being the happiest semi sad person. Or maybe it’s just a reaction to a mind itch. Like, does the person I miss, miss me too? Does the person I wish were here, want to be here? Our minds never let us rest but I’m thinking it’s because we don’t allow our minds to do just that – rest. Resting, relaxation, and self evaluation may help. So umtil I get the answers, I’ll just sit and stir thoughts into my dark, brooding mind and reflect. The mind itch needs to be scratched.

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Superhero © (draft)

Being myself makes people nervous, apparently.

Concerned about health, well-being,

and the general direction of society.

While I appreciate some thoughts I discard others,

Can’t get caught up in what or who scares you because

Monsters that live in your closet once lived under my bed too.

If you don’t accept it, let’s dissect it,

What are monsters anyway?

They reflect fears, really aren’t as bad as you think,

So when you feel all hell is breaking loose

Look me up, I’ll be coming to the rescue.

Reminding the only thing to fear is fear itself

That we create.

We control thoughts, desires, direction,

Every aspect of our being.

So don’t sell yourself short or underestimate your creator.

We were made to rule our world with our power.

 

© Natasha Ramsey. All Rights Reserved

 

chasing the dream

Some of you who know me well may think this post is gonna go another way because of the “but(t)”, but sorry, it’s not. Do you know what Spanx are?  They’re an invention from Sara Blakely who was getting ready for a party when she realized she didn’t have the right undergarment to provide a smooth look under white pants. Armed with scissors and sheer genius, she cut the feet off her control top pantyhose and the Spanx revolution began! With a focus on solving wardrobe woes, the Spanx brand has grown to offer bras, underwear, jeans, pants, active and more” (http://www.spanx.com).

Well I apparently need Spanx for life. You know, something to remind me that I need to push up, pull tight and bear down to accomplish the  life I want. I need to cut the pieces that aren’t working and start solving the woes! Hence, Spanx, but(t) for life!

Things that go bump in the night have nothing on the scares of real life day woes. Yes my nightmares are horrific but I wake up and  I’m usually tucked safely in a bed, under warm covers, secure in a house with maybe no more than 2 or 4 people with access to multiple bathrooms so I don’t have to coordinate everyone’s schedules and bathroom times or worse yet, get in line in the schedule after uncle Hector’s odoriferous bathroom time. So what do I have to worry or be scared about?

Not accomplishing my dreams! Not following my passion! Quitting when I didn’t get accepted!

Background that you may or may now already know: I’m an immigrant. Moved to the U.S. under circumstances that were less than favorable but not as terrible as other immigrants who paid for their trips in life and limb. I’ve lived with many people over the years in smaller and less than ideal conditions. Now life is relatively decent, fun and full of love, but every now and again, when I get complacent and want to be one of the people who sit idly by and stop reading, learning or striving, it takes just one visit with family members who are closer to our original family culture than I am these days, to kick my arse back into gear and remind me that I need to not be complacent, to not sit idly by, and to always keep learning, reading, striving…

what-people-think-of-me

Sympathy isn’t needed, neither are complaints. While I’m living a life that many relatives don’t understand, don’t want to or just don’t care enough to try, at least now I get to choose who I call family and don’t have to be nice or hide myself to appease negative folks. Most of all, I still live in a country where I can pursue my dreams. Sure, I can fail. And boy have I done that in spectacular fashion at times! I’ve also not been successful (yet!) in getting a major magazine or journal to publish my writing, but I’ve also had small wins in that several online journals and hard copy local magazines have published my work.  So I take my small wins and keep plugging away. I also have to remember not to dwell too much on the past but it does haunt me a bit when I visit family.

Sure, I know that no one owns, or holds my happiness hostage. Also, while happiness doesn’t lie in actual dollars, it sure doesn’t lie in being butt arse broke either. So don’t take this post as a proclamation to go out and drop the career and pursue only the dream. What this post is, is a proclamation to say, “screw acceptance!”, “fight for your right to be happy, to be heard, to be passionate and pursue your dreams!” (okay, that may just be me screaming to myself…). But seriously, while job satisfaction is good it isn’t detrimental to  well-being as long as the paychecks keep supporting the dreams. Sure, at times I’d like to have a big welcoming family to run to, and a magnificent sum of life savings to make me feel safe but at what cost?

sick of being nice

Keep striving, learning, loving and living. Take all of the bad experiences and turn them loose. I may not truly forgive all of the people who hurt me but I’ve figured out ways to move past the hurt so that I can feel good about myself again. I may not be able to shake the enveloping sadness when those I love are sad or stressed but I’m working on just being there and not letting it take over every pore of my being. Being there for those you love is totally within your control and being a healthy and happy person makes you a sturdier shoulder to cry on, a better loved one with whom you can vent and get it all out with or as needed, an excellent arse kicker for those who hurt the people you love.

So chase the dreams, eat the cake, dance in the rain, drink the whisky, hike with the dog, get that tattoo, pierce that skin, try polygamy (or not if your first spouse will literally kill you)!

Oh, and if you really feel like you need some more stomach and butt shaping, here are pics of men’s and women’s spanx…

Life and Love

Posted: January 25, 2016 in Awake, Tell it Tuesday
Tags: , , , ,

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What were once the happiest moments in life are not happy, sometimes barely tolerable, when you’re not with the person you want to be with.

Love and live.

To the people who think that there really are gay agendas being pushed for the recruitment of, or encouragement of gayness in children by way of products, television shows, music, toys, etc., please grow up and smell your heteronormative privilege.

Of course I mean that figuratively. I realize when addressing sensitive topics such as say, good ole equality 😐 you must speak to everyone in the same way; as if they’re the dumbest person in the room. Why? Because heteronormativity is such a rampant and acceptable belief that many of us, self included at times, don’t understand or even realize the ignorance in everyday speak…until we do. Then, it’s oh so awkward when we do and others don’t. What is this heteronormative speak? Here are a couple of sentences for consideration.

– A woman asked, “Why is there a children’s cartoon in which a character asks, “Why isn’t it ever Romeo and Romeo?” She claimed it was not acceptable for children because they’re too young to learn about sexuality.

– I don’t want my child reading about two mums or two dads. They have plenty of time to learn about that stuff when they’re older.

These are annoying hogwash questions.

No one explains sexuality to children when there is a male and female parent. Or rather, no one except maybe pedophiles. Children do not learn about sexual anythings by seeing well adjusted human beings in families who do the same things hetero families do.

When children grow up believing and seeing no difference between a male/male and female/female relationship, then they are less likely to think it’s unusual or different or wrong when they get older.

The notions that roles and paths in life are determined by gender is incorrect and limiting. We know this because of the many years of living in male dominated societies. The idea that a gender assigned at birth will automatically dictate how you learn, the toys you play with, or your “natural abilities” is narrow and truly insane.

Why would you not want to embrace all people, no matter their gender, chosen paths and options in life, etc., i.e. why not show a little boy that it truly is okay to have two Romeos?

In short, heteronormativoty is assuming that just because you were born with a penis, you are a boy who will like girls, who will want to play with toy guns and  toy cars, will wear certain types of clothes, and who will behave in a particular manner. Why can’t we teach acceptance from an early age? It’s not as if the cartoon illustrated explicitly sexual acts (it wasn’t South Park or on Adult Swim).

However, one part of the problem is that for many narrow minded people, when they learn of, or meet a gay couple, many of them automatically start wondering about the couple’s bedroom habits. Do you do that with hetero couples immediately? If so, does that limit or change your expectations or treatment of said couple? If so, then let me be clear – YOU are the one with a problem.

Honestly, wouldn’t you want to teach love of all humans to your children, even the boys who will love girls, the girls who will love boys, the boys who will love boys, etc.? Oh and if it’s your religion that you’re worried about eroding or disobeying, then I suggest you teach your children your religious beliefs. ALL aspects of your beliefs. Don’t dare pick and choose which aspects of the Bible, or any of the other holy books you’ll teach, and don’t forget to let them know about all of the other religions in the world, not just yours. While you’re at it, you may want to remind that most great leaders and religious teachers were not die-hard religion followers who were loving towards humankind.

Therefore, when healthy gay relationships are observed as just another type of family, and when queer relationships in all forms are considered normative behavior, which it is, acceptance will be taught at an early age, making the world a better and more loving one. Isn’t that a world you want to live in and leave to your children?

Quick and easy to read references for additional information:

Academia.edu: http://www.academia.edu/4139911/A_Defining_Moment_in_Civil_Rights_History_The_Employment_Non-Discrimination_Act_Trans-Inclusion_and_Homonormativity

Gender and Education Association: http://www.genderandeducation.com/issues/what-is-heteronormativity/

Wikipedia: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heteronormativity

Big Cup of SHUT THE FUCK UP!

This one’s going to be short and sweet. No reason to delay the icy blast to match the East Coast polar feels.

The Short:  Some of y’all on social media are killing! Tweeting, facebooking, putting out tumblr memes and gifs that start off as being sorry to hear about Whitney Houston’s daughter, Bobbi Christina, but some of y’all the same ones consistently dogging her parents’ lives, drug addictions, behavior, and in general, laughing at the family, all while claiming to shed sorrowful tears for her condition. Get your shit together, people. Damn. Fake ass non-caring motherflubbers!

The Sweet:  Who, among all of us, did not make mistakes in the younger years? Hell, some of us are still making mistakes in our older years. Are we that empty as a people that we have to tear others down to make ourselves feel better? I’m no saint, I admit that. Also, I’m not a die-hard fan of any of the afore mentioned people, other than for a few songs by Whitney, and my entertainment from New Edition back in the day. The media buzz about Bobbi Christina is just another example of how much we love to see celebrities fail. Of how we like to ignore our own dirty laundry and sniff other people’s dirty drawers.

You know who I want to see fail? People who admit to committing heinous crimes – the stone cold murderers, rapists, and those bastards who earn millions while stealing from the poor, downtrodden and disenfranchised communities. Look, I’m also not saying you should care about Bobbi Christina. I just want us to remember that we’re all human – some better and some worse only through actions, beliefs and practices. We all have issues. Sure, I was an arrogant and insensitive little shit at times in my life. And you know what? I grew the fuck up. So I’m here to pass a puff, to lift a foot for a swift kick, and to share a big old steaming cup of Shut the Fuck Up to all who need it. Why? Because someone once cared enough to do the same for me.

Share light and love.

I can’t be all things to everyone
Not even to self.
Despair entrenched in bone, in skin,
Fear and self deprecation become kin.
You are the beginning of my ending.

Copyrighted 2015
All Rights Reserved