Posts Tagged ‘reflecting’

I have a tattoo on my wrist, might I add, before wrist tattoos were trendy, that says, “passion”. But I hate to admit that I don’t think I’ve truly found my passion or at least the thing that so many books – historical and modern – describe as the “thing”, the “passion”.

Granted I’ve had nany passionate aspects of life and experiences that I consider passionate and I believe I’m going to keep having them, but if I were forced to be honest, as I’ve been trying to be, I don’t know I’ve found my one true passion. You know, that one thing that you’ll do anything for, and give up anything for, the thing that makes you want to do it day in and day out no matter the reward or lack thereof… Yes, poor grammar but this is a blog so keep reading and stop judging. It’s not a college paper :-). If so, is that love? For those I love I’d do absolutely anything and give up anything, life included, if it means they’ll be safe. Is that it? There must be more, right? Don’t we have to love ourselves properly before we can truly love others or make them happy? Does that love of self include or demand that in order to love ourselves fully and completely, we must find passion?

But is that really it? The “thing”? I’ve heard and read that passion is the one thing you can’t stop doing no matter the threats, or how it may ruin your life? If so, is passion just another form of addiction?

If all that I’ve seen and heard is true, I admit I’ve had many passions, and they continue to grow. But I’ve also discovered that when you go hunting for your passion, some ties get loosened or severed as there may no longer be compatibility with some.   Why is that? Is passion that heavy? Why is she (or he) such a demanding, intense asshole? Or am I the asshole who’s floating in search of more passion because I’m not even sure I know what this “passion” is or should be? I have love. Now how is that different than the passion that is supposed to sustain me and fill me and keep me whole and sane for the rest of my life? Argh! I may need a new tattoo.